“I love you. I just can’t afford you.”
How keeping up with the Jones’ is driving families apart.
It’s barely 5:30am and your phone has already dinged twice. One message is personal. The other is a news affiliate (i.e. MSN, ABC News on the Go) sharing the world’s top stories and inundating you with ways that you can improve yourself and your relationships. Our current technological world, which has a ton of advantages, also provides intrusions that disrupt our way of relating to ourselves and the world around us, especially our partners.
With the newest I-phones, cars, and vacation spots, we live in a world that asks “upgrades?” and we respond by saying “yes please!” Yet, according to U.S. poverty statistics, as of 2012, 15% of Americans (approximately 46.5 million) were living at or below the poverty line. Another US statistic reports that 15% to 20% of couples are in sexless relationships. And there are hundreds of couples who are living with emotionally distant partners. With factors, such as financial limitations and emotional and sexual deficits, coupled with the pressure to stay relevant, how do couples persevere?
In order for couples to reconnect and be able to have honest conversations about finances, sex, and being present, there are 2 suggestions – (1) make up your mind and (2) change your location. Exploring the notion of “make up your mind” means to make a resolution within yourself that you want to be more present with your partner. Ask yourself questions like what keeps me connected to this person? What do I like about him/her? What don’t I like? What physical/emotional/intellectual parts of this person turn me on? Secondly, changing your surrounds is critical. To have the same conversations in the same locations often produce the same results. So, change it up. Talk about finances while walking through your neighborhood. Flirt and explore each other’s body while enjoying a picnic (keep it legal!). By setting your mind and changing your location, it’ll lessen the chances of your partner telling you that he/she can no longer afford “your lack of interest, sex, time, or financial support.” The last thing you want is for him/her to invest their interests elsewhere.
-“The more you invest in a marriage, the more valuable it becomes.” – Unknown