It was not too long after Thanksgiving that I noticed that my “fat sweatpants” didn’t fit well. You know, the sweatpants that you go to when you are trying to be comfortable and relaxed.  Initially, I chalked it up to a sign that I had enjoyed the Thanksgiving holiday and dismissed it.  A few days later, I decided to stand on a scale.  I had gained 24.5 lbs. in a month.  How did I gain that much in a month? I thought to myself.  The more that I sat back, the more I had a revelation about my lifestyle habits.  I didn’t gain 24.5 lbs. in a month because…

The “L” word – Is it really that sacred? French fries. Football.  Taking long vacations.  Him/Her.  The word “love” has been applied to each.  There was once a time in our romantic history when it was sacred.  It was only spoken if it was meant.  Shakespeare wrote it out in sonnets and in convoluted descriptions in order to affirm a point.  E.E. Cummings wrote of his love and admiration in poems that are listed by the volumes.  In modern times, we tend to state that there is very little delineation from our love of food, recreation, or our companion.  In fact, there are times where we even go as far…

“I love you. I just can’t afford you.” How keeping up with the Jones’ is driving families apart. It’s barely 5:30am and your phone has already dinged twice. One message is personal.  The other is a news affiliate (i.e. MSN, ABC News on the Go) sharing the world’s top stories and inundating you with ways that you can improve yourself and your relationships.  Our current technological world, which has a ton of advantages, also provides intrusions that disrupt our way of relating to ourselves and the world around us, especially our partners. With the newest I-phones, cars, and vacation spots, we live in a world that asks “upgrades?” and we…

Signed, Unfaithful & Grieving Dealing with guilt and grief after infidelity   You started carrying your cell phone more often and taking it literally everywhere. You catch yourself speaking about your coworker far more often than you should.  You justify it by saying that you really want to keep in touch with friends and family or that you have a lot of stuff happening at work and this is one person who seems to relate to the craziness.  As time passes, the truth is revealed.  You’ve had an affair.  Affair…regardless of the times, still has a negative, dirty connotation.  Most people tend to reject it by saying that they were…

“Every relationship has its sacrifices…” When is the sacrifice too much in a relationship whether married or dating? We’ve all experienced a shift in our lives. The shift could have been moving from a job where you felt under supported by the management team to a job that recognized your talents and abilities. The shift could have come from moving from a neighborhood that compromised your security to one that you felt met you and/or your family’s needs. But what about the shifts that occur between being coupled and being single? When do you draw the line between choosing to continue onward versus deciding to end things? Bishop T.D. Jakes,…

“I feel safe, protected, and bored.” Is excitement and monogamy a myth? Think about a relationship that you adored.  Think about the first time you and that person locked eyes and you knew that there was potential for something more.  The first time you smiled at one another.  The first time you kissed.  For some, that is the best part of a relationship.  Ever hear the sassy saying “don’t get too comfortable?”  It has become a common saying amongst women and men as both the caution and end of a relationship. Security and predictability is often masked as your partner “getting too comfortable.”  For some couples, security may mean feeling…