“Every relationship has its sacrifices…”
When is the sacrifice too much in a relationship whether married or dating?
We’ve all experienced a shift in our lives. The shift could have been moving from a job where you felt under supported by the management team to a job that recognized your talents and abilities. The shift could have come from moving from a neighborhood that compromised your security to one that you felt met you and/or your family’s needs. But what about the shifts that occur between being coupled and being single? When do you draw the line between choosing to continue onward versus deciding to end things?
Bishop T.D. Jakes, Founder and Pastor of The Potter’s House church in Dallas, Texas, once referenced a statement that his wife, First Lady Serita Jakes, shared by saying that everyone’s “much” is different. Is too much when your partner calls you a name other than your own? Is too much when your partner stops working and expects for you to become the primary financier of your relationship? Is too much when your partner is intimate with someone else? In order for your “much” to be determined, your “much” would first need to be defined not only by your core values, but also by how you value yourself. If you value emotional connection/intimacy, then a partner who shuts down and withdraws goes against your value system and, if done often enough, will be too “much” for you. If one of your values is to be treated with respect and your partner calls you a name that you perceive to be disrespectful, after being done enough, will be too “much” for you. One fundamental rule that helps most is never accept in your home what you would not be willing to accept in the street. If you are unwilling to accept someone calling you a “sl*t” – whether directly or indirectly – in the street, then don’t accept it by someone who claims that they love you in your home. This point is not specific to your marital status or your relationship status on Facebook. It applies collectively. What you accepted before the ring, you will most likely accept after the ring.
“If you do not respect your own wishes, no one else will. You will simply attract people who disrespect you as much as you do.” ― Vironika Tugaleva